Last year, both of my parents passed away; my father in July and my mother in September. With them not being married, or even a couple, this caused for pools of emotions from two separate sets of siblings and at times became a bit challenging. As a counselor, I found myself offering assistance in that capacity but not dealing with their passing on a personal level of being daughter, sister, mom or auntie. As time has passed, I’m now seeing and feeling the loss in a different way; not just my experience but also the experiences of my siblings.
We all grieve in our own way. Some have taken on compulsive habits that are addictive and harmful, some have become so occupied that they don’t have time to think about what’s taken place while others drift amiss, hoping that portions of this is a dream that they will soon awaken from. Regardless of the steps we take, we all have a grief process that we must go through in order to be healed from the loss. I want to empower you today with a few thoughts:
- don’t attempt to make others fit into “your” grief process, everyone grieves differently
- don’t put a time limit on when one should move forward in life, such as with a new relationship
- don’t tell someone that they’ve grieved long enough – that’s so harsh
- be patient in your process, take each step as a teaching and healing tool
- stay optimistic about life, a loss should not keep you in a depressed state, especially if it was someone who had a relationship with God
- prepare to live again!
Life happens, death is inevitable – grief is real but we must for your own sanity understand your grief process and be willing to go through it your way.