Is It Worth It?

“What God has joined together, let no one put asunder”.  Do you think about your vows; your marriage and often wonder if it’s worth it.  I mean, the heartache, pain, disappointment, financial struggles – is it really worth it – going through all of this in a relationship?  You know this is a trick question – right!  Is it worth is?  Yes, it is! 

As a marriage counselor and counseled several couples through their pre-marital challenges, it made me take a look at my own marriage.  Here is was encouraging them to work through their problems and to communicate.  I gave them exercises to help them interact more productively – they did it and it worked.  I listened to their stories about things they considered to be a struggle and shed light on the minimal impact that it had on their relationship.  They shared tears, fears and all were able to see that at the end of the day, they were important enough to each other to allow God to be the center of their union and work it out.

How hypocritical of me, here I was encourage them while I was facing times in my marriage that I felt like it wasn’t worth it and wanted to give up.  I was being selfish, I can admit that now but when my husband was challenging me with truth – I constantly denied everything.  What spirit was resident within me that was causing me to push away a blessing?  I was dealing with a spirit of rejection and it was causing  havoc in my life, my marriage, my ministry and it had to stop.  That spirit had manifested itself through passive aggressive behavior, lack of confidence, fear of further rejection, guilt and even vexation.  The enemy had me captive, believing that it wasn’t worth it. 

I thank God for His power, and revealing to me the lie that had gotten my attention.  I took authority over that spirit and that mindset.  I took my confidence back, my willingness to communicate openly back – I took back all that the enemy had stolen from my marriage because It’s Worth It!

Too often, as a people we get so consumed with our trials and tribulations without taking to time to find a viable resolve.  We’ve got to stop – breath – reassess – and then move forward in God’s plan for our lives and our marriages.  If you’ve been struggling in your marriage, wondering if it’s worth is – don’t give up so quickly.  Seek God for an answer as to why and then obey the directions that He gives you to fix it.  Marriage is honorable before God, it’s a good thing and remember – It Is Worth It!

Are They Really Your Friends?

 We all know that friends come in to your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime – that’s a proven fact.  Often, I look at my circle of influence and rationalize, “Where do I fit in the scheme of things for them and how do they fit into my life?”  Not that it mattered; it was just a curious moment.  My circle of friends is rather small and I’m not complaining.  I’ve discovered that there is so much power with the right friends.  I don’t have to validate myself with my friends.  I don’t have to give excuses when I don’t show up or get blasted when I show up unexpectedly – they are my friends!  When problems arise, I know that I can depend on them to help me out with a kind word, a hug, a smile – the small things that encourage me to push through – they are my friends!

 So, I took a look at that word friend to make sure that these people that mean so much to me are properly defined.  By definition, a friend is, “somebody who trusts and is fond of another; somebody who thinks well of or is on good terms with somebody else; an ally, or somebody who is not an enemy; or a defender or supporter of a cause, group, or principle” according to Encarta dictionary.  As I read theses definitions I realized that these people, my friends, are really not my friends.  Don’t gasp – that’s a good thing.  These people that I’ve been calling my friends are more than friends; more than sistah’s; more than confidants – just so much more than a friend.

When I need an answer to a question, I always go to my reliable source, God, and get clarity.  I said to Him, “Daddy, if these people are not my friends, who are they?”  I didn’t hear anything right away but quietly He began to speak to me and all I could do is smile.  These people that I’ve been calling my friends are “His True Servants”!  That brought such joy to my spirit.  God had given me people who know Him, understand His power, work according to His plan – these people actively seek to be in His will as it relates to the relationship they have with me.  What an awesome thing!

Take a look at those who around you – see if they are really your friends or are they His True Servants? 


His Love Penetrates

Before I see him come through the door, I feel his presence.  I see the look in his eyes and the smile on his face – his love penetrates. 

He walks in, pauses, and gives me a nod – his head slightly tilted to the side.  His presence fills the room and he catches the attention of all.  He’s walking towards me – his love penetrates!

The touch of his hand, the warmth of his embrace, the softness of his lips, the passion in his kiss – His love penetrates!

The moments that we’re apart are challenging at times but not one second, minute, hour, day or month moves me because his love penetrates!

 Being found by the man that God ordained is such a blessing.  This Love is more than emotions – its commitment.  I’m grateful for this marriage and knowing that his love penetrates!

Love up on your man today, he will appreciate it – mines did!

 This is dedicated to my husband, Douglas E. Burwell, Jr.