My Bad Behavior is driven by my insecurities


as a man think

Does it matter more what people think of me, or what I think about myself?  In the last few weeks, I’ve encountered several individuals who are feeling hopeless and helpless because of seeds that people have sown in their spirit causing them to feel somewhat victimized.  I haven’t been as supportive as they hoped I would be, because I recognize what their truth is!

When I pose the question to them, “What makes someone else authority over your life and behavior, more than you do?” I got blank stares.  It’s as if they couldn’t comprehend what I was saying, but in reality, it was causing for a moment of accountability.  When I share with them about their behavior and interactions with people and how detrimental they are being perceived, they still want to blame someone else.  I’m empathetic, as I’ve been in that place where I couldn’t recognize my own challenges and blamed people as well, but I’m also a change agent!

Here’s the question for the day, “If you know that your behavior is in direct correlation to thoughts planted by others, when do you change it?”  I get responses like, “I don’t want to let people down,” or “I don’t know what I really want to do,” or “It’s just easier not to argue with what people say.”  Are you that insecure or naive about your self-worth? Do you not understand that God has made an investment in you, and you’re a treasure with purpose! What are you afraid of?

Our lives manifest things based on what we feed ourselves, or were fed. When we allow people to feed us doubt, fear, shame, unforgiveness, and other lies, we are crippling ourselves.  Our behavior mimics being a puppet on a string – and it’s time to cut loose! When you know that you’re acting out because of fear, take authority over that!  When you recognize that you’re allowing certain individuals to empty garbage in your spirit, causing foul behavior – cut them off!  Most importantly, when you’re feeling lost, build yourself up.  Whether through the means of prayer, meditation, worship, counsel – whatever it takes – EMPOWER yourself to change!

I purpose daily, to affirm myself positively like a one a day vitamin.  I self-assess to ensure that I’ve let no voice be more significant in my life than the voice of God and I rid myself of any toxic mindsets that would cause me to act contrary to God’s plan. A component of this affirmation is, “Create in me a clean heart and renew the right spirit in me.” (Psalm 51:10)  For when we realize our heart dictates our actions, we want to make sure that we are entirely aligned with His will, plan, and purpose!

My friends, may we overcome our insecurities, realize our full potential and stop misbehaving!

Be Empowered!



It’s All About the Relationship


Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:6 KJV

 You must not know about me; I can have another husband in a minute! That foolishness was my mindset for years until MY Husband found me! Because of the pain of my past, I was a bitter woman who wanted to hurt people before I allow them to inflict pain on me. My motto was, “Do me wrong, and it’s over!”. My marriages had been about convenience, manipulation or pleasure – not about love or purpose. I didn’t understand a prerequisite for marriage is a relationship. Not just a relationship with my spouse but first and foremost a relationship with God.

Commitment and covenant are the foundational blocks for a marriage. The foundation being found in our heavenly Father. The closer you grow in relationship with God, the closer you and your husband/wife will develop together. Marriage has a purpose, and it requires that each is pursuing their Godly mission and jointly being aligned according to God’s will, plan and purpose – two as one. This relationship, marriage, requires work! You will have to be secure within yourself, understanding and valuing your worth. It requires the ability to forgive self and forgive others, especially your spouse. Marriage is an institution that must be fueled by prayer.

I had infected people against marriage because I was unhappy in my pursuit. My pursuit! I was going after a husband based on what I felt I wanted and not what God wanted for me. I was out of alignment with God, yet I wanted him to bless my mess. My behavior had me bound straight to hell, but God! I was transformed by the renewing of my mind to acknowledge my wrong thinking, see my sinful behavior, and sat myself down and waited on the Lord.

Hebrews 10:36, “For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise” showed up in my life and a right relationship was birthed. Stop seeking a man first, ask God first and let Him lead you – for it’s all about the relationship.

 – Taken from My Reality Revealed by yours truly! 🙂 

Available on