It’s a GREAT DAY to celebrate marriage!  Benny and I released this conversation on FB Live and our Blogtalk radio show recently, and I want to share it with you now.  Take some time and review what we shared and send us some feedback.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10101849018024927&id=7604809&_rdr

Benny & Valerie

As a counselor, I deal with a significant number of individuals who deal with depression.  Most of it is generally stemming from the loss of a loved one or the lack of a significant person in their lives. Whatever the cause, I’ve been able to navigate through these emotions with them successfully at a high rate.  I’m not boasting at the accomplishment, for it is the love of God that does the work, I’m just the vessel being used.

I’m grateful for the positive outcomes I have in my counseling practice, but I’m also challenged.  How do I deal with the pain that’s coming from the next room in my home? I understand the power of the mind, as we’re taught in the scriptures to let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ, but the reality is that society doesn’t function that way.  I deal with pain in the next room tenderly at times, but at other times with little or no empathy.  I wonder how it is that I’m so tender with outsiders but don’t extend that same measure of care in my home.

I can only attribute that behavior to the fact that I know that I’ve given those in my home truth about who Christ is, and stand on His word for change.  Silly me!  I’ve learned that being the wife, mother, or grandmother, or sibling to a hurting family member requires the same if not greater compassion and love.  We must love beyond the barrier and embrace them with the same love we offer to everyone else.  Let me modify that – I must – as I pray that other counselors are doing a better job at navigating family than I have.

What I’ve gleaned from this scenario is simple, when pain is in the next room, don’t ignore it, address it as if it came through the door of your office and give them the same love and attention you give everyone else.

Valerie

…for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.

Romans 11:29

What is the undercurrent that runs within you? Have you identified your gifts? Have you begun to cultivate the gifts within after identifying them? It’s a lot to think about, I know, but it’s necessary that we discover the gifts within us that God wants us to use for His glory in the earth.

On one occasion during the holidays, I received a gift, and instead of opening it immediately, I placed it in my office with my “stuff.” Several months went by before I realized that I’d never opened the gift and when I did, I was saddened that I’d missed a wonderful opportunity – not opening that gift cost me. Not recognizing the value in the gift given to you by the Father is also costly. When the Holy Spirit speaks to you, revealing your truth – your gifts, are you able to receive it? Too many times, we negate what we hear because we lack the confidence needed to move forward. Honey, His gifts, and his call are irrevocable. No one can deny you, defy you, silence you, stop you if God has gifted you – but you! I hear your thoughts, “I don’t want what I see, it’s too much!”, I tried that, and it didn’t work. You like hiding behind the scene, I get it, I used to enjoy that life too, but my gifts made room for me and opened doors to places I’d never imagine, and God wants to do the same thing for you.

Do yourself a favor; stop asking other people what your gifts are. They will offer you an answer, but most of the time the ones that you’re asking don’t know the truth about themselves. Daddy always reveals our truth to us, still! If your gift(s) has/have not been made clear to you, continue to seek the Father in prayer and fasting for the answer. There is a gift within you that wants to come forth! Believe in yourself, tap into what has been given to you by God and make a difference.

An exert from My Reality Revealed by Valerie Burrell

Does it matter more what people think of me, or what I think about myself?  In the last few weeks, I’ve encountered several individuals who are feeling hopeless and helpless because of seeds that people have sown in their spirit causing them to feel somewhat victimized.  I haven’t been as supportive as they hoped I would be, because I recognize what their truth is!

When I pose the question to them, “What makes someone else authority over your life and behavior, more than you do?” I got blank stares.  It’s as if they couldn’t comprehend what I was saying, but in reality, it was causing for a moment of accountability.  When I share with them about their behavior and interactions with people and how detrimental they are being perceived, they still want to blame someone else.  I’m empathetic, as I’ve been in that place where I couldn’t recognize my own challenges and blamed people as well, but I’m also a change agent!

Here’s the question for the day, “If you know that your behavior is in direct correlation to thoughts planted by others, when do you change it?”  I get responses like, “I don’t want to let people down,” or “I don’t know what I really want to do,” or “It’s just easier not to argue with what people say.”  Are you that insecure or naive about your self-worth? Do you not understand that God has made an investment in you, and you’re a treasure with purpose! What are you afraid of?

Our lives manifest things based on what we feed ourselves, or were fed. When we allow people to feed us doubt, fear, shame, unforgiveness, and other lies, we are crippling ourselves.  Our behavior mimics being a puppet on a string – and it’s time to cut loose! When you know that you’re acting out because of fear, take authority over that!  When you recognize that you’re allowing certain individuals to empty garbage in your spirit, causing foul behavior – cut them off!  Most importantly, when you’re feeling lost, build yourself up.  Whether through the means of prayer, meditation, worship, counsel – whatever it takes – EMPOWER yourself to change!

I purpose daily, to affirm myself positively like a one a day vitamin.  I self-assess to ensure that I’ve let no voice be more significant in my life than the voice of God and I rid myself of any toxic mindsets that would cause me to act contrary to God’s plan. A component of this affirmation is, “Create in me a clean heart and renew the right spirit in me.” (Psalm 51:10)  For when we realize our heart dictates our actions, we want to make sure that we are entirely aligned with His will, plan, and purpose!

My friends, may we overcome our insecurities, realize our full potential and stop misbehaving!

Be Empowered!

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:6 KJV

 You must not know about me; I can have another husband in a minute! That foolishness was my mindset for years until MY Husband found me! Because of the pain of my past, I was a bitter woman who wanted to hurt people before I allow them to inflict pain on me. My motto was, “Do me wrong, and it’s over!”. My marriages had been about convenience, manipulation or pleasure – not about love or purpose. I didn’t understand a prerequisite for marriage is a relationship. Not just a relationship with my spouse but first and foremost a relationship with God.

Commitment and covenant are the foundational blocks for a marriage. The foundation being found in our heavenly Father. The closer you grow in relationship with God, the closer you and your husband/wife will develop together. Marriage has a purpose, and it requires that each is pursuing their Godly mission and jointly being aligned according to God’s will, plan and purpose – two as one. This relationship, marriage, requires work! You will have to be secure within yourself, understanding and valuing your worth. It requires the ability to forgive self and forgive others, especially your spouse. Marriage is an institution that must be fueled by prayer.

I had infected people against marriage because I was unhappy in my pursuit. My pursuit! I was going after a husband based on what I felt I wanted and not what God wanted for me. I was out of alignment with God, yet I wanted him to bless my mess. My behavior had me bound straight to hell, but God! I was transformed by the renewing of my mind to acknowledge my wrong thinking, see my sinful behavior, and sat myself down and waited on the Lord.

Hebrews 10:36, “For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise” showed up in my life and a right relationship was birthed. Stop seeking a man first, ask God first and let Him lead you – for it’s all about the relationship.

 – Taken from My Reality Revealed by yours truly! 🙂 

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